NMG:
ROUND 33, QUESTION 1
(players'
answers and scores)
And we're back on Net Match Game. Everyone's placed their answers in their slots. We'll see how everyone did in a sec. First, let's review the question.....
VBS Press is in the midst of
publishing
the thinnest book ever made. It's entitled,
"The Net Match Game Guide
To America's Best << BLANK >>."
We'll start here on the
top row of the panel with Randy Amasia.
Randy: "Sigh, SCHOLARS"
LOL! Interesting thought. Might include some of my old profs
from
college.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's hear from the leader of Lucky $even, the pit boss of
Poker Game,
Jay Lewis.
Jay: "At first I thought it might be"
+-------+
| AMISH |
| STRIP |
| CLUBS |
+-------+
Jay: "THEN I thought it might be"
+--------+
| KOSHER |
| TACO |
| STANDS |
+--------+
Jay: "When I realized the book points out America's
best"
+-------+
| DONUT |
| CHAIN |
+-------+
Jay: "which is only Krispy Kreme!"
Good thinking! Let's hope you don't ended up with a doughnut
on the
board, if you know what I mean.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom Hornikel, our resident mind bender, you look like you
have a
question.
Tom H.: "How thin is this book, Doug?"
Mmm, pretty thin.
Tom H.: "It is so thin that it could only be about
America's Best
POLITICIANS!"
(audience cheers) That should get some votes and points.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now let's go to Chico Alexander.
Chico: "Doug, I'm gonna hurt you... First I'm excluded
from the panel,
then you dish out a hard-ass question.. What's wrong with
you? ^_^"
Well, ya know, the first question's usually a toughie. As for
the
assembling of the panel, Deej did it.
D.J.: "No I didn't!"
Yes you did.
D.J.: "Geez, you're sounding like two of my four
ex-husbands."
(audience laughs)
Chico: "Oh well. I'm going to give it a go and
say..."
+-----------+
| SLAUGHTER |
| HOUSES |
+-----------+
Chico: "I would've said 'America's Best Canadians,' but
Jay's one of
my friends, and he ain't havin' it :)"
Wise move.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mark Jeffries, how did you fill in that blank?
Mark: "To me, the world's shortest book would the guide
to...
'America's Best Karaoke Bars!'
Even if Gwyneth 'Fishstick' Paltrow was in each of
them."
LOL! I should know. I've been known to get on the karaoke
and...
uh...let's move on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's time to plaaaayyyyy... uh... Panchenko. With Eric
Panchenko.
Eric: "I will say castles."
And I'll say, we'll see if it gets a match.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Matt Marcotte, what's your final answer?
Matt: "Actually needed the think time...America's
best.."
XXXXXXXXXX
X X
X BOY X
X BANDS X
XXXXXXXXXX
LOL! I like that one. I hope that scores a match or two.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
In the grand tradition of such one-word named folks as Yanni
and Cher,
we welcome Alan. Just Alan.
Alan: "Hmmm...in homage to most of the folks in this
group....
America's Best 'Wresting Federations'
Of course, I could be wrong."
Careful friend, John Fenner might want to body slam you for
that
remark.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Does the luck of the Irish favor Tom O'Connor?
Tom O: "CASTLES
(when's the last time you visited an old castle in the
US?)"
(TPiR ding; audience applause) There's a match. In answer to
your
question, I saw a castle when I was a small fry in Tennessee.
It was
part of the 4th hole of a miniature golf course in Knoxville.
(audience laughs) Nonetheless, you're on the board.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Time to give it up for Jerry Depew.
Jerry: "Dangit, Doug, this is a toughie! I'm going to
take the risk
of being booed out of the building and say..."
+---------+
| Press |
|Your Luck|
+---------+
+---------+
|Questions|
| by |
+---------+
+---------+
| Randy |
| Amasia |
+---------+
Jerry: "(sarcasm) 'Cuz we all know how much he loooooves
PYL...
(/sarcasm)"
(Randy throws crumpled up blue cards at Jerry; audience
laughs)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dandy Don Smith, what sayeth thou?
Don: "Bad Answers...which this is one of."
(audience boos) You may not get agreement from your fellow
players,
but you do match the audience -- so to speak.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RetRoBoyIL@aol, what crossed your mind?
RetRoBoyIL@aol: "Reality Shows"
(audience cheers) There's another goody. I wonder if TJW'90
counts
as a reality show. At least it's a show that bites. (audience
laughs) And according to the movie title, "Reality
Bites" (more
laughs)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, Lee. Lee Feigenbaum.
Lee: "this is really wide open, unless i'm missing
something :)
I"ll go with: Politicians"
As Nell would say, "That's a good answer." (TPiR
ding; audience
applause)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Lochel, what sayeth though.
Bob: "TAPE TRADERS"
Hmm, sounds like you've either had a bad experience in the
trading
world -- or your success rate in trades is near 100%.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Davis, talk to me.
Bill D.: "And to think Jim didn't even come close to the
$199,150 he
needed to tie Kit Salisbury!"
(Jim pounds the studio floor from below with muffled cries
for help)
Oh, hush, Jim, be thankful you have a hundred. (audience
laughs)
Bill D.: "The definitive answer -- TALK SHOWS."
Well, hard to say this one's had a definitive answer -- but
at least
that's a logical one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Robb Baum, is your answer da bomb?
Robb: "Ticket Plugs"
D.J.: "If you'd like tickets to see Net Hit Man, forget
it!"
(audience laughs)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Anson Grimes, who has probably heard way too many "Happy
Days" lines
in his lifetime, gives us this answer.
Anson: "I think I’ll fill in that blank with
NetGame"
Hmmm, hope my shows are in there. (crosses fingers) (audience
laughs)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom Sabbatelli, the new center square on the standalone Net
Hollywood
Squares. What have you to say for the standalone Net Match
Game?
Tom S.: "Man, oh man, Dougie, you know how to make the
hard ones. By
the way...(picks up a license plate)...this is my personal
license
plate: SEPX. Can you tell what that is? Anyone?"
(a few folks shout out answers...albeit wrong ones)
Tom S.: "Well, geez, if I have to tell you
*everything*...Sep is the
abbreviation for September. X is 10 in Roman Numerals. Now
You See
It... wait, wrong show. What does September 10 mean? My 'NMG
question,
coming up next, following this one. Look for it."
We sure will, my man.
Tom S.: "Anyway, to the question. I, uh...(squints
through glasses
ala Brett)...oh, I couldn't think of anything. I thought of
Pearson
Game Shows, but then I thought, with Clinton's presidency
still
plaguing us..."
(card flip)
+------------+
| PRESIDENTS |
+------------+
Politics as usual on NMG. Say, Deej, will that match
"politicians"?
(buzz; a few boos from the crowd) Kinda thought so. Wanna
'splain?
D.J.: "In classic MG style, general answers don't match
specifics.
A thin book of the best politicians could include governors,
congressmen and senators *as well as* presidents. Sorry,
Tom."
(more boos) Ahhhhhhh, before this crowd really gets
restless...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's say "howdy hi" to Tammy Warner.
Tammy: "Howdy Hi Doug!"
VBS Press is in the midst of publishing the thinnest book
ever made.
It's entitled, "The Net Match Game Guide To America's
Best..."
Tammy: "Hmmmm.....STRIP JOINTS?"
Strip joints are NUDE! NUDE! NUDE! (audience boos) Nevermind.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zach Coverstone, you've seen a myriad of answers. Can you
match
any of 'em?
Zach: "Well since many contestants on the real show give
dumb
answers I would say that it would publish "The Net
Match Game Guide To America's Best..."
(flips card)
+--------------+
| |
| Dumb Answers |
| |
+--------------+
"Dumb" and "bad answers" should match...
and... it... (TPiR ding)
does! (audience applause)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Do we continue this roll with Matt Kaiser? (pause) Get it?
Kaiser?
Roll? (audience boos) Matt, get me outta this.
Matt: "I don't know if this will match, but how about
America's Best
Japanese Rabbis, Italian TV producers, Oil Companies in
Bankruptcy,
and Hit Shows on NBC TV
Those who have the 20k Pyramid finale should get the
joke."
(audience laughs and applause) That's odd. We were playing
"Tuning
Up" over the PA system before this question started.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
James Leroux, our big Buffalo Sabres fan, what came to mind?
James: "I'll say VBS has published a guide to America's
best.."
(card flip)
+-----------+
| FAST-FOOD |
|RESTAURANTS|
+-----------+
Sheesh, I'm just gaining weight looking at his answer.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Timanus, no need to respond in question form. What'cha
say?
Eddie: "Hmm...ok, something we have a lot of in America
that are all
bad. [flip] TALK SHOW HOSTS"
Oh darn, that won't match "talk shows", will it?
(buzz) Thought so.
Sorry, but we'll see if it gets a match later.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, a newcomer to the world of net games, Ted Novak.
Ted: "I'm sorta lost at this. Maybe it's because this is
my first time
playing. (Just acknowledge me, NO FIRST-TIMER KISSES ala Gene
Rayburn!!!) Or maybe because I have no idea what VBS
is!?!?"
Well, VBS is... (Deborah JoAnn runs toward Ted) Deej! Ted
said no
first-timer kisses! (audience laughs) Maybe you two can
arrange
something after the show. (Deborah JoAnn runs back to her
perch)
Ted: "But here goes, my answer is: JOKER'S WILD REMAKE
(Hey, it's at least related to the game show genre!)"
Well, let's test out my theory on TJW90 and reality shows.
(buzz)
Or are you saying that on general/specific issues?
D.J.: (trying to impersonate Frank) "Right!"
(audience laughs)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jim Ellwanger, hit me with an answer.
Jim E.: "Cricket players (aka 'cricketers')."
LOL! D.J. might be in that book. (Deborah JoAnn gives Doug a
dirty
look) Uh, moving onward...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles "Nelson Reilly" Atkins, your answer please.
Charles: "Pampelet"
Hmm, you mean "pamphlet"? Spelling doesn't count,
BTW, just like the
real thing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Robin Crist, I *wonder* what you put down.
Robin: "Roadkill Cafes"
Mmmm, I could go for a possumburger right now.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Klemm, what was your first instinct for this query?
Joe K.: "First rounders are hard to figure out, but
since this a thin
book concerning the best according to 'Net Match Game, I'm
saying:"
--------------------------------------
trolls of alt.tv.game-shows
--------------------------------------
LOL! If that doesn't match, I'll give it honorable mention.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
And now, Tom Puckett and the Union Gap.
Tom P.: "Hey, you know net Match Game is known for its
puns...but the
thinnest book is NMG's guide to America's best JOKES THAT ARE
ACTUALLY
FUNNY"
Hey, they may be a handful -- but they're << BLANKING
>> hilarious.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NightWoof, show us what's on your card.
NightWoof: "America;s Best QUESTIONS."
You're...not trying to tell me something, are ya?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Three across is a ten-letter word starting with S. The clue:
net game
host. Gotta be this guy. Mark Sinsabaugh.
Mark S.: "I don't know which direction this is supposed
to go in. But
then again, this is a R1 question. That said, the only thing
I could
think of is (flip) TRAFFIC JAMS."
Tell me about it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Time to call out DL for our first gold run hexagon. In this
case, it
stands for David Lynch.
David L.: "As Bob Eubanks would say..."
+----------+
| Whoopie- |
| Making |
+----------+
Uhhh...not gonna go there for fear of ending up with the
hexagon
that reads TMI. :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, let's head to Wayne's world with Wayne Rhine.
Wayne: "Trolls"
Can we match that with *ATGS* trolls, Deej? (TPiR ding;
audience
applause) You're on the board, Wayne -- and so is Joe Klemm.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Can we get another match with Mark McNeil?
Mark McN.: "Answer: NET CONTESTANTS"
Result: no match -- at least not yet.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Neil Serven, just a handful of matches and tons of responses
waiting
to be matched. What say yet?
Neil S.: "America's Best TALK SHOWS."
(TPiR ding; audience applause) You've matched Bill Davis.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's turn now to the original MG host on the Net Match Game
-
Hollywood Squares Hour, Charlie Pevey.
Charlie: "In honor of the premiere of 'Let's Make a
Deal' on GSN, I
have a three-card 'Monty' for you. Get it, Monty?"
LOL! Good one. Let's see a good answer.
(Charlie reveals his three cards)
+------------+
| SCORING: |
| SUBTITLED |
+------------+
+------------+
| "AT HOME, |
| OR EVEN IF |
+------------+
+------------+
| YOU'RE |
| ALONE!" |
+------------+
D.J.: "Matches with whoopie-making." (TPiR ding;
audience applause)
There ya go.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Francis Chu, Australian for "game show fan".
Francis: "Hi Doug"
G'day, Francis. (audience chuckles)
Francis: "The answer is 'trolls'."
(TPiR ding; audience applause) Hey! Two points on the board
for
trolls. Like we really need to root for trolls in the first
place.
(audience laughs)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott Foster, Australian for... conga drum player.
Scott F.: "Celebrity guests."
Don't think that matches "net contestants". (buzz)
Sorry.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Randal May, what thin book is VBS Press printing?
Randal: "With all the news reports about road rage, I'm
thinking you
might get a thin book if you wrote about America's Best
..." (card)
DRIVERS
I'm tempted to comment on D.J.'s driving... (audience laughs)
...but
I won't.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Last one to get in is John Menjes.
John: "Donut Shops other than Krispy Kreme.
Since it's either Krispy Kreme or nothing at all..."
Donut shops...will that match Jay's donut *chain*... (TPiR
ding;
audience applause) Yes it will. Let's add up the points.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
THE HOST'S POINTS - 5 pts.
Doug Morris
(ATGS) TROLLS - 2 pts.
Joe Klemm
Wayne Rhine
Francis Chu
BAD/DUMB ANSWERS - 1 pt.
Don Smith
Zach Coverstone
CASTLES - 1 pt.
Eric Panchenko
Tom O'Connor
DONUT CHAINS/SHOPS - 1 pt.
Jay Lewis
John Menjes
POLITICIANS - 1 pt.
Tom Hornikel
Lee Feigenbaum
SCORING/WHOOPIE MAKING - 1 pt.
David Lynch
Charlie Pevey
TALK SHOWS - 1 pt.
Bill Davis
Neil Serven
...and a lot of good answers follow...
...but it's Club Goose Egg time...
(list sorted in alphabetical order by answer)
BOY BANDS
Matt Marcotte
CELEBRITY GUESTS
Scott Foster
CRICKET PLAYERS
Jim Ellwanger
DRIVERS
Randal May
FAST FOOD RESTAURANT
James Leroux
JAPANESE RABBIS...SHOWS ON NBC
Matt Kaiser
JOKES...ACTUALLY FUNNY
Tom Puckett
TJW REMAKE
Ted Novak
KARAOKE BARS
Mark Jeffries
NET CONTESTANTS
Mark McNeil
NET GAME
Anson Grimes
PAMPHLET
Charles "Nelson Reilly" Atkins
PRESIDENTS
Tom Sabbatelli
PYL QUESTIONS BY R. AMASIA
Jerry Depew
QUESTIONS
NightWoof
REALITY SHOWS
RetRoBoyIL@aol
ROADKILL CAFES
Robin Crist
SCHOLARS
Randy Amasia
SLAUGHTER HOUSES
Chico Alexander
STRIP JOINTS
Tammy Warner
TALK SHOW HOSTS
Eddie Timanus
TAPE TRADERS
Bob Lochel
TICKET PLUGS
Robb Baum
TRAFFIC JAMS
Mark Sinsabaugh
WRESTLING FEDERATIONS
Alan
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(fade to Doug center
stage with Jay, D.J. and Ryan)
Well, just like the real thing, the first question's usually
a toughie.
In any event, thanks for playing. Look for me on Net
Price is Right
with Jay, the Net Match Game - Hollywood Squares Hour with Ryan and of
course, Net Bumper Stumpers with...uh...what was your name again,
ma'am?
D.J.: "Will you stop?" (audience laughs)
I kid because I care, Deej. And look for Tom Sabbatelli's
question
-- here on Net Match Game. Remember, if you miss out on any
question
in this round, you're << BLANKED >>.
Ryan, Jay and D.J. in unison: "We agree!!!"
(MG '7x theme plays)
See you soon.
(audience applause)
D.J.: (on audio tape)
"Today's participants will receive a copy of the
home version of Net Match Game. The legendary hit on VBS
comes to
your own house as you join your friends and relatives in
filling in
blanks to crazy questions. It's the NMG home version -- from
Wilton
Hadley. (cue to shot of flip thingy flipping with images of
Doug,
Ryan, Jay, D.J. and the players chatting and laughing) This
is D.J.
Hamilton speaking for Round 33, Question 1 of Net Match
Game..."
*
A
JAY |
RANDY |
| LEWIS | AMASIA |
PRODUCTION
*
