ROUND 33, QUESTION 1
and question itself)
(MG '7x wank think music plays)
DJ Hamilton: Get ready to match the stars...
(flip thingy begins to flip)
(Randy holds up card with his drawing of the
...from Net Price is Right, Jay Lewis...
(Jay holds up price tag with NPiR logo from the
"Most Expensive" game)
...from Rock & Roll Net Bumper
(John holds up R&R NBS plate reading JONPHNR)
...from The Net Match Game - Hollywood
(Ryan holds up card with a tic-tac-toe game)
(Mandy holds up card reading "I love you,
...and from Mind Benders, Tom Hornikel...
(Tom holds up card reading "Toil on Khmer" --
his name anagrammed, of course)
(flip thingy stops; NMG sign gradually lights up)
(This image is based on
animation by Brian Sapinski, http://sonicwhammy.cjb.net.)
DJ: As we play the star-studded, big points Net Match
(MG '7x theme plays; sign rises; audience applause;
camera zooms into image inside of flip thingy)
And here's the host for Round 33 Question 1 of Net Match
Game -- Doug Morris.
(doors open; more applause; Doug walks down the stairs,
takes a bow, picks up a Rayburn-esque long stick
Doug: Thank you very much. Helloooooo everybody and
welcome to Net Match Game. Happy to have you with us.
Great to have our stars here including two people you
regularly see on the Net Match Game - Hollywood
Ryan Morris and Jay Lewis. (audience cheers)
John: Hey, Doug?
Doug: Yes, John.
John: Aren't you going to kiss the newcomer down there?
Doug: Oh Mandy? Eh, better not. She got married not too
long ago and Lucky Pierre wouldn't like that idea. Right,
Mandy: Yeah, better to be safe than sorry.
Doug: Hear ya. But, tell ya what, look into camera 2 and
blow Pete a big kiss.
Mandy: (blows kiss to the camera) I love you Pete.
Doug: How sweet. And Tom, got anything big going on in
Tom: Just selling a lot of wheels.
The Ghost of Jay Stewart: IT'S A BRAND NEW CAR! (audience
Tom: Does he do this to you on NMG-HSH?
Doug: Yup. Even Net Bumper Stumpers. Anyway, we're gonna start out
by playing the big-money Super Match. Please welcome our
defending champ Jim Caldwell.
(Jim enters the set just like he did in '85-'86 on TTD;
three people applaud, the rest of the crowd boos)
Doug: Gee, what a warm welcome. (audience laughs) Anyhoo,
Jim just won the game as time ran out on the last show
and picked up $100...
another $312,600 and I'll equal the record set by Lt.
Doug: Uhhh, Jimbo, Thom wasn't a MG contestant.
Jim: I know.
Doug: Anyway, as I was saying, you have $100 in hand and
you're about to play for up to $5000 in the head-to-head
match. First, the audience match. We polled a recent
studio audience and got there best response to this --
slide it, Earl...
NMG PLAYERS: No, this is *not* a Super Match post! This
is inserted for comedic purposes -- at least I hope it's
comedic. Please do not respond to the Super Match
question. Instead, please respond to the question toward
the end of this post.
yes, I know, the Caldwell run of TTD has been removed
from the Game Show Network schedule. I'd written this
script several months ago. Too late to change now. In any
event, we now return to your regularly schedule program.)
Doug: ...Trivia <<
BLANK >>. As you know, match the most popular
answer to win $500. Next most popular pays $250. Number
three answer is worth $100.
Jim: But what about the TIC and the TAC? (audience
Doug: Wrong show, pal. And don't even start with the red
boxes and the dragon, OK? Now, pick three celebrities to
help you out.
Jim: OK, I'll start with Mandy Arasia. (audience laughs)
Doug: Uhhhh, do you mean Randy Amasia or Mandy
Jim: (with deer in headlights looks) Uh, yeah.
Doug: (sigh) Before this goes downhill any further, Randy
and Mandy, your thoughts please.
Randy: Well, Jim, I'm thinking of something you botched a
lot on "Tic Tac Dough" -- trivia questions.
Doug: OK, Mandy?
Mandy: What TTD was at least in part, a trivia game.
Doug: All right, Jim, wanna pick one more?
Jim: Sure, let's go to your brother Ryan.
Doug: (sighing; Ryan shakes his head) For the bazillionth
time, we're not related!! Anyway, Ryan, Trivia <<
Ryan: Jim, *Justin's* my brother. He's our director on NMG-HSH. And second, we're hosting a party next
weekend -- where we'll be playing Trivial Pursuit.
Doug: OK, Jim, there's three. Trivia questions, trivia
game and Trivial Pursuit. You can pick any of those or
reject them all and go on your own.
Jim: I'm going for my first instinct. Wasn't something
they thought of.
Doug: Oh, what's that?
Jim: Trivia Dare -- one of the special categories from...
Doug: Yeah yeah, we get the idea. Anyway, let's see if
Trivia Dare is on the board and if so, where. Let's start
at the bottom and reveal the $100 response.
Doug: Trivial Pursuit.
There's Ryan's idea. Still looking for Trivia Dare, is it
under the $250 number?
Doug: Trivia Question. There was Randy's answer. Last
chance for a Trivia Dare. Slide that big kahuna, Earl.
Doug: Trivia Trap. The short-lived game show with Bob
Jim: I don't remember that one.
Doug: You don't? Well, uhhh, I think Jay Lewis can
refresh your memory.
Jay: I sure can, Doug.
(Jay pulls out a remote control device and pushes a
button -- which opens Jim's trap door and sends Jim
Doug: Oh well, so much for our champ. Dang, and I wanted
him to win 300-grand-plus -- NOT! (audience laughs and
applauds) Well, since our champ's reign ended so
suddenly, we gotta look for new players and here's were
*you* the net surfer come in. Yup, it's time to kickoff
the 33rd round of NMG. First some words to the wise from
the lovely DJ Hamilton.
(MG '7x ticket plug
Deborah JoAnn: Wanna
play this question? To late, babe. But be sure to check
out alt.tv.game-shows and the Net Games
Yahoo! Groups mailing list the next time a NMG question's posted.
Doug: All righty then, lemme grab
the question from this here toaster and we'll start the
VBS Press is in the
midst of publishing
the thinnest book ever made. It's entitled,
"The Net Match Game Guide
To America's Best << BLANK >>."
(MG '7x wank think
here for the results.